Sunday, February 15, 2009

I don't want you to die Grandpa

How do I describe the most important part of life to you my darling?

With out death little princess there is no life. Everything that lives die’s this is the way of things, the trees, the flowers, the birds, the bee’s, the animals and yes humans to.

When I was very young, my father’s heart stopped and his body stopped functioning. When they told me of my father’s death, I couldn’t believe it! He was there I saw him just hours ago. I could still see my fathers face in my mind he couldn’t be dead he couldn’t!

I got my hat and coat and I went out for a walk, I needed to be by my self so I could work this out my self. While I was walking I was talking to my father it was like he was still there walking beside me, I could see him I could feel his love and I could feel the closeness and the love inside me that I felt for him.

As we walked along, I told Dad that I couldn’t handle this I was too young to take care of my mother and my sister. Dad just laughed and said; my son you can do what ever you want to do in this world if you try. And then he said something very important to me that helped me through the rest of my life.

Now you my say I’m crazy because my fathers body was no longer able to function in this world and was no longer here with us, but I’m telling you as we walked along I could still see him as if he was right there beside me.

As we walked along he looked into my eyes as he said to me; Son my body has failed me and it is time for me to go, but my love and the love we shared together can live on in you and as long as you keep that love inside your heart I will be with you always to watch over you and to help you as you travel through life

Through the years I have kept my father alive inside me, I can still see his face and I can still hear his laughter, I can still see him dancing with a baby in his arms. I remember his views, his laughter and his love.

Now when ever I make a decision in life Dad is right there with me. I knew how Dad felt and he would not be proud of me if I was doing something wrong to some one else. So I tried to live my life so that he would always be proud of me.

So you see little princess it’s the body that dies not the person inside, the person inside will live on forever as long as there is someone to keep them inside their heart and keep their love alive.

So when my body stops working and it is time for me to move on. Then I will join my father and we will both live inside of you, your mother, your father, your brother and your Grandma to.

As life moves on and as you grow as a young women, I will be there inside your heart, I will be there when you laugh I will be there when you cry I will be there to comfort you when you need someone to talk to. I will be inside you in that special place we keep all the love we feel for each other.

You will have children and they will have children and you will grow old and become a Grandmother your self. And then one day your body will get to old to work anymore and it will stop functioning and then you too will move on to be with me and my father and we will live on in the hearts of your children and your grandchildren.

So you see little princess, Grandpa will never really die, my body will stop working one day because that is the way of things.

But Grandpas love, his laughter and all the memories you have of your Grandpa will live on inside you until one day when it is time and your body no longer can keep going and your body stops working and you move on.

The inside you the love and the warmth that has been pasted on to you from all the generations before you will all be joined again as one big family.

Living on forever in the hearts of our children.

I love you little princess



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