Fact is: We know! We know! (You) are our fault!
Fact is: We can’t change this!
Fact is: Only (YOU) can change this!
Fact is: We give you the gift of life!
Fact is: We did the best we could razing you with what we had to work with at the time.
Fact is: If you don’t like the hand you were dealt in life, then change it!
Fact is: If you want a better life, go get it! Nobody gave us ours!
Fact is: We gave you life! We don’t owe you a living!
Fact is: In our grand parent’s time, Children were seen not heard!
Fact is: We have come along way with parenting, now it’s your turn!
When I was young, it was an age in time when women were just coming out of the (women are property stage) men were expected to be good providers, women to be good mothers and good wives.
At this time women were starting to go out into the work force. This brought more money into the house hold for cars, TV’s, new furniture and so on. This was the structure of the family house hold at the time. Children were just kids and were treated as such. The father worked and relaxed and the mother worked and keep the house and the kids were kids, they played they studied, they grew up the best they could with two parents out of the house for 8 hours a day.
No one taught our parents how to be parents, good bad or other wise. Our parents didn’t have doctor spock or Sesame Street and most didn’t even have a TV! World wide information was unheard of or communicated by way of the grapevine. It was still sociably exemptible to smack your kid up side the head for not doing as they were told even if you happened to be in a public place. There was no young offenders act. If you messed up your father dealt with you when he got home and you learned through beatings how to show respect for an elder.
Women at that time had become accustom to working at a job all day and then coming home, cook dinner do the wash clean the house and take car of the kids. The husband came home, read the paper and watched the news on TV then went out to play darts or bowling or just out to drink at the veteran’s legion. (This is the way it was at that time! Men had done their job by freeing the world from War) Some spent time with their son’s or daughters but it was rare, fathers provided the money for the outfit, baseball football what ever, mothers bought them and sent the kids out to play the game.
At that time in our history it was not cool for a man to show affection towards another man. It was not expectable to hug or kiss someone from the opposite sex. Homosexuals were not even talked about or if they were talked about it was that they should be lynched.
Fathers treated boys as young men that grow up to be men and providers; girls were treated as young women that grow up to be wives and mothers.
As the baby boomers grew up and had kids of their own, the cars TVs and new furniture were common house hold items that everyone had, but the women had become part of the work force. And with equal pay for equal work, women were making as much or close to the wages of the husband.
Now in this time in our history the money was enough to send some kids to university for an education so they could get a better paying job. Not all could afford this and not all children wanted to go to school. But most parents tried to put them in to sports and took them on vacations; we bought them computers and video games, bikes and any other toys they wanted, all the things our parents couldn’t buy us at the time because there just was not enough money.
At this time in our life men and women were just starting to share the work at home, the man was not use to this new way of thinking and the women in turn still considered it their responsibility to take care of the nurturing, and yes some fathers took their sons out to sports but mostly it was the mothers again that took over this part of the child razing.
Men were still under the impression that a son had to become a man, it was becoming more common or socially exemptible for man to show affection towards his fellow man but not yet completely understood by the old school way of thinking.
So fathers were still a little distant from there son’s on the love and affection part but they had moved ahead by leaps and bounds when it came to showing affection towards their daughters. Daughters became little princesses but were still expected to grow up and be good mothers and good wives.
Now at this time man was still providing but he now had extra money coming into the house hold from the wife working, this gave him the opportunity to enjoy more things in his life like motor cycles, fast cars, speed boats and such, so man continued to go out and play while the women were still working a job and staying home nurturing the children.
Now that our children are grown and they are having children of their own, the man in the house hold has become more a part of the family, he helps out at home with the cooking cleaning and taking on responsibility for his part in the house hold.
The fathers of today take there kids out to sports they try to share in all the child is trying to accomplish in life and they try to be a big part of there children’s life. They are no longer just a provider they are an intricate part of the family structure. And their children will be raised with this closeness from their fathers. And hopefully end up better people because of it. (Hugging or showing affection towards a son has become socially expectable)
This in turn gives the women not only time to work but time to go out shopping to the beauty pallor, aerobics’ all the things women like to do to pamper them self and just get away from the day to day house hold annoyances. As man has been doing for at least the last 50 years!
The new family structure is accepting, men and women, fathers and mothers, girls and boys, brothers and sisters as equals in the family structure all sharing in the love and affection between family members.
This means the children have to be responsible and not just the parent they need to do there share of the house hold chores. This is something that was lacking in most of our children, house hold duties. This is where they lost respect for their elders, and the new laws took away the right for the parent to administer discipline.
This occurred because of both parents being out in the work force so this gave the children more time to direct there own activities and not many made house hold chores a top priority on their daily routine and when the parents were home, they didn’t want to spend their leaser time screaming and yelling at kids that have been running their own lives all day. So our children were left to run their own lives.
What our children need to understand is that we are from the old school; We didn’t have world wide information on how to be parents, or how a normal family structure should work. (If in fact there is such a thing as a normal family) We lived our lives the why we were taught at the time in our history, as they live their lives the way they were taught in theirs.
I think if you look around, you would have to agree that most of the people you know have come from a dysfunctional family. All we can hope for is that it keeps getting better as the generations move on.
So if one of your children ever accuses you of not coming up to there standers of parent hood. Agree, because it’s true! (Children are a product of there up bringing)!!!!
But explain to them that you are a product of your up bringing, as they are a product of theirs. And if they become better parents, husbands/wives or poeple from there up bringing as you have become a better parent husband or person from your up bringing.
Then you as a parent have done your job!
And then explain to the little darlings that their children are going to be a product of their up bringing! And in turn grow up to blame their parents for their upbringing. As is right because we are all a product of our up bringing and yes, we as parents are responsible for the way (Our children) have turned out!
Sit back dear baby boomers and watch as our children show us that they can be better parents than we were!
For what more could a parent ask for, than for their children to have a better life than they them selves have had!
Love Always
&
Forever Peace
R.Coldguy....The Old Baby Boomer
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